REVIEW: Kim Dracula's "A Gradual Decline in Morale" via Order of the Snake

If you’re at all in tune to the mainstream alternative sphere right now you’ve probably heard the name Kim Dracula. Even my own mother texted me asking me who they are and why she’s hearing they put out bad music because she was worried about having to catch a set before she watched Avenged Sevenfold. (This artist’s first set ever too, incidentally.) I myself had only heard the name with no context for a while and now that I have said context, both the music and the identity, I sort of hope to put my thoughts out and then never touch this subject with a ten-foot pole ever again.

Look, I say it all the time; I’m not comfortable comparing artists. To be honest, like, there’s nothing new under the sun and people take influence from everything but they don’t deserve to be bound by that. That being said, Kim Dracula is currently on social media, telling their fans that they make music that absolutely everyone will want to mimic but they totally invented. The thing is though, if you just want a “what do this sound like,” read the next statement then try to skip to the end.

This is, quite literally, a Ghostmane clone.

More so than that, it’s a collection of sounds and other sonics from other artists sort of Frankensteined together. In just the opening track, “My Confession,” there’s stuff taken from Red Hot Chili Peppers, Disturbed, Marilyn Manson, basically any artist that has somehow done abuse to woman and, in the last two’s case and more, would 100% not be okay with a non-binary artist in their scene unless they were making them money. There are other sounds borrowed from too of course, there’s some drag music bits, but the thing is I don’t know if this scrapbook attempt at music actually ever produces anything meaningful or not. As we move through the record it just sort of keeps going in that direction. Like, everyone’s tried to write a Korn song. Does it make it any better to do an impression of their vocalist?

That sort of becomes my thing about A Gradual Decline in Morale as a piece of entertainment, if you really convince yourself that any bit of this has any creativity or drive and it’s not a stitching together of bands that you’re already tired of then, sure? I guess? But in reality, it has nothing to offer you that you don’t already know. The worst part is that the irony of all of this seems to be totally lost on the record’s composer. There is a lyric here that reads;

How the fuck you gonna be forty years old and still singing about teenage love?

And it’s like, you are literally deriving from all of those artists, so what exactly are you trying to say by writing this line? The record closes out with “Iris,” a cover of the classic Goo Goo Dolls song that just, plain and simple, doesn’t go over well. It sort of encapsulates what the whole album is, an uncreative blend of genres. Like, hate to be reductive, but you can really glean all of the sonics off of a bad cover song. One thing that I actually enjoy about the record is how seamless it all is but even that appeal all falls apart when you recognize that these transitions are held together by shoestring. They’re so abrupt and come across as someone who had no idea how to end a song as opposed to someone with a massive vision.

End of sonic analysis.

None of this is to actually analyze the character that Kim Dracula tries to narrate this narrative through. In “My Confession” there’s a disclaimer that anything said on the record doesn’t accurately portray the views of the author, but can you really get away with saying the things you do here off of a disclaimer? Doesn’t it go a little beyond just saying “it’s just fiction?” In “Land of the Sun,” for example, Kim Dracula does a racist depiction of Hispanic culture and honestly, by my research, I don’t think they can be doing that voice or laugh. The edgy lines go beyond the teen love one as well, elsewhere on the record Kim talks about killing children to make the world listen and again I’m left wondering what’s supposed to be said here. On “Industry Secrets” they talk about how the music industry is all about who you know or are having sex with but, again, what are you trying to say? Are you not the one who posted a Lady Gaga cover online and then played their first ever show with Avenged Sevenfold? Which, by the way, I don’t find anything wrong with but if it’s being called out, I feel it's fair game. Finally, on first listen I was waiting, the entire run time, for the misogyny and sure enough, I found it. “Kitty Kitty” Is a song where Kim basically tells the listener to “not trust that girl bro. She’s a cheating slut bro.” And honestly? I expect a lot better from a queer person in this scene, especially one with a fan base this young.

If you have no social awareness, no sense of music history as recent as thirty years old and are generally a white cis man, I could see how this album is a lot of fun. If not, I can’t see how, it's anything but a bad copy-paste job and a painting of an individual's bad optics. It’s actually funny that they’re on tour with Avenged Sevenfold right now because this record made me realize there is artistic value to be found on their last project but absolutely none in this.

Our rating - 1/10

1. A Gradual Decline in Morale
2. My Confession
3. The Pledge:
4. Luck is a Fine Thing (Give it a Chance)
5. Drown
6. Superhero
7. Are You? [feat. Kirin J Callinan]
8. Land of the Sun
9. The Turn:
10. Divine Retribution
11. Undercover
12. Industry Secrets
13. Rosé
14. Seventy Thorns [feat. Jonathan Davis]
15. The Prestige:
16. Reunion and Reintegration
17. Kitty Kitty
18. Make Me Famous
19. Iris [Goo Goo Dolls cover]
20. The End, For Now

Listen to A Gradual Decline in Morale here