Sometimes, Forever failed to emotionally wreck me
I have tried everything to love this record. I listened to it on a long, moonlit drive. I listened to it in the shower. As I take the notes for this review I am in bed with the lights off. I’m a bit disappointed, I was expecting this record to ruin me emotionally and it just didn’t.
The first single, “Shotgun,” was the perfect bait to lure a fan like me in. Being so invested in this genre I kind of have come to accept that, while I would love my favorite artists to progress, they don’t typically in sound. What the progression for this brand of singer-songwriter music is usually is the author becoming a healthier person overall. On the last record we were singing about not leaving our room for a week, watching our parents die, really dark stuff. On this?
“Look at your blue eyes like the stars
Stuck in the headlights of a car
You know I’ll take you as you are, as long as you do me
So just let me lay here in your arms.”
That passage, as well as the chorus where Allison is saying she’ll be there “whenever you want her?” That finding someone you want to be happy with, drink in life with and someone who's worth living for? That to me is progression enough in this very lyricly driven style of music. I would accept just that. However Allison does manage to find sonic progression too. The bass intro and the tones throughout the entire song, the synth bits that add ambience to a part change, all these little spices that are this artist proving that she isn’t just going to do the same thing over and over again.
We got further proof of that on the genre experiment “Unholy Affliction,” which served as the second single. When this one came out I was a bit thrown but also a sound like this was more or less what I expected from a Lopatin produced record. While it’s not a sound that I come to this band for I was certainly willing to give it a shot if this is what the record was. (It wasn’t, in a way.) I like the vocal production approach on this one with the dual, layered vocals that are sometimes present twice with one being cool and dimmed out. I enjoy the industrial instrumentation and thought processes and really love the toned down midsection. Overall I just admired how, on one track, we were willing to show our roots with a bit of spice then on single two we were willing to show this total other genre. I also can feel for the themes of art no longer feeling like a joy to make and this sense as if it is only a cog in a profit making machine it even makes sense with the sound design. I have to point out however, that we really snubbed a good transition here. That ending bassline could have gone so smoothly into the opening seconds of “Shotgun,” the opportunity was right there. Instead we get this really awkward fade out then the song just abruptly begins. Really feels like a huge oversight in how this record flows.
I can’t decide if I wished “Bones” wasn’t a single or that it wasn’t track one. I am known for not loving the decision to release first or last songs on a record prior to street date and feel like, while I absolutely adore this track, if I had heard it fresh on the record I would love it even more. Even at that, it’s just an awkward opener. This sounds like it's coming off the heels of another song opening with a vocal section that while I do enjoy is again just a weird way to open a record. Allison continues to be an incredible lyricist, of course.
“You make me feel like I am whole again
But I think your heart could use a tourniquet
Cause I’ve bled you out and patched you up again
Far too much to call it love.”
There are both beauty and pain in this amalgamation that only her mind could perceive. The vocal production, again, is wonderful especially on the first verse. There’s a lot of great guitar tones and instrumental depth. To be honest? It’s one of my favorite songs of the year. I just don’t know if it’s track one.
I was very much blown away by “newdemo” on release. For almost a full minute there is what seems to be something that is just simple acoustic guitar with Allison’s vocals but what’s going on creeps in at you fast. The vocals become a bit more ethereal as the intro goes on, there are layers so subtle that turns the song into a full on lofi ballad. From there we get a chorus delivery backed by these huge, haunting, yet also mellow synth passages that eventually go right back to where they came from. Only this time, the hints of all these emotions portrayed by each of these instruments is all on top of each other. Growing ever more intense and beautiful as it goes on.
I actually have to give credit to “With U” for proving me wrong on the idea I had that this record had no lyrical continuities. There is the line on “Bones” that says;
“I wanna scream when you don’t look at me like you did back then.”
On “With U” the song song opens with;
“Your crystal eyes cut deep like a knife
They’re teaching me how to bleed
I’ll take the pain, feel it everyday
Just to have you look at me.”
Which contrasts in a really hopeful way with that line and the tourniquet passage I mentioned above. Instrumentally this one really fascinates me which, again, I was expecting a bit of given Lopatin’s producer credit, but what I was not expecting was a neo-psychedelia song. When this one comes in with that drum crash and the sweeping synth? I can see it being played among plants and flowers, it really paints a visual. While I am feeling a bit of the lyrical continuity I’m still feeling like there’s a sonic continuity issue, even if this song does blow me away.
After the wall of singles is “Darkness Forever” (what a title, by the way) which is another curve ball that this creative duo throws our way. I guess while I didn’t expect it, a neo-psychedelia track on a Soccer Mommy record isn’t the most far fetched thing in the world but a doom cut? Now that I never would have predicted. I can really see where Allison draws in her recently discussed Black Sabbath influence, this one is very droney and slow, there’s little sections where she allows herself and her band to just jam. There’s even a blood curdling scream buried in the mix here, it all makes for a really intriguing moment. Not to gush about her ability to write lyrics over and over again but;
“Head in the oven didn’t sound so crazy
My brain was burning so hot to the touch
Lithium readings making me dizzy
But they keep my feelings simmering low.”
First off, the continuous metaphor of presenting an oven and various different plays on cooking or heat to present a distaste of living and being tired of being in your head is brilliant. Secondly, it really makes me want to ask her if she’s okay.
I was surprised once again on “Don’t Ask Me.” Here, we are delivered a shoegaze track that sounds both incredibly hopefully sonically and is technically really proficient. That hope in sound backs what may be the darkest themes on the record, maybe even Allison’s entire back catalog. (Well, one other track later on may get a little darker, but still.) On this Allison is talking about being so hurt and so in pain from life and people throwing her into darkness over and over again that she just stops trying. Basically developing this mindset that she cannot possibly sink further if she does not engage in any attempts to make things better. All the while coming to terms with the fact that she knows eventually someone or something will come along that will make her feel again and bring her back to that place. Whatever that may be? She doesn’t know.
“Fire in the Driveway” was around the point I started to accept that I do not love this record. On this one I love the instrumental and production alongside the haunting vocals. This basically sounds like a song off of color theory with this new odd experimental mindset. On this one though instead of talking about family pains or isolation Allison is contending with trying so hard to stay in a relationship that she’s fully aware is for the sake of the other person and is in no way serving to herself.
“Your blood is running through me
I’ll bleed until you lose me
But I can’t ever lose you from my head.”
It’s a brilliant composition, those are tragic lyrics that are honestly resonating with me on a deep level in my personal life especially given the past month and yet? I still do not feel attached to the song. I of course recognize what makes me not connect with the record, but I won’t spoil the ending. Let’s just say at this song, which I feel should be among my favorite songs of the year, I almost felt something
was wrong with me until someone talked me out of it.
I enjoy the ghost story narrative and sonic duality on “Following Eyes.” The verses have this eerie delivery to them while the choruses provide a bit more of a pop sensibility and I think that makes for a good way to keep the track enthralling. In a weird way this reminds me of the early days of this artist with things like the Collection compilation. I will admit that the opening lines are a bit too on the nose but the fact that the paranormal metaphors get a bit more subtle later on makes it more interesting over time.
“I saw something
The strangest light above the moor
So I pulled in
And headed down the service road
When the fog grew
Fat too thick for me to see
I cut the engine
And I wandered through the scene.”
Now, look, I’d really like to continue this deep dive into every single track but at this point? I think we can rush through these last couple. “Feel it All the Time” is literally just a country song. She’s literally singing about a truck. It’s another genre distraction that adds to my problems with this entire experience. Then the closer? “Still?” When Sophie Allison writes a beautiful and heart wrenching song about driving to a bridge and considering jumping off and I am not crying? I start to accept that it isn’t my fault. It’s a fault with this record.
I think ultimately what my problem with this album is, is it feels like several thought experiments. On this record Allison is teaching herself to be a better musician, dipping into her influences more and trying all kinds of things she never would have on past projects. That’s great if what you’re producing is eleven singles. This isn’t eleven singles though, it’s one incoherent project that feels like it drags when listened to together. By the way, I love how progressive it all feels, it just also feels so scattershot. Even in bed, no lights, listening to each song with their lyrics open, I find it hard to be impressed with the overall product I’m being fed here.
I think also part of what I’m contending with is how much I want to love this mixed with how well it’s being received. All of a sudden critics and average listeners who wrote off an artist I love for years are blown out of their minds on how good this record is. Is there something wrong with me? Am I simple minded? Am I a bad music fan? The answer, of course, is no. I am a long time fan who is not feeling the inconsistent record being put in front of me. It doesn’t make me an unintelligent consumer of art. I’m allowed to not like a record and I need to tell myself that. I like all of these songs, but Sometimes, Forever feels like untapped potential from a woman who wants so badly to be a better musician. I’m not giving up on her though, like her words never let me give up in the past. Also, for what it’s worth, I really think “rom com 2004” should be on here somewhere.
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