Pollyanna's Slime, toxic relationships and the best band in the underground

 

Now, I know this is a very high and prestigious honor, but Slime, the debut record from New Jersey’s Pollyanna might be this blog’s most anticipated record of all time. This band really won me over at Good Noise Fest ‘21. From there I loved Sugar Coat so much that I included it in my top EPs of last year on a technicality because I missed its calendar year. Now that we’re here and the record is out, did it live up to my expectations? No. It absolutely blew them away. Not that I want to spoil what’s ahead but this is this band’s strongest showing, completely overshadowing their previous two releases.

I want to say upfront that as I write this review I am missing the release show for this record. I had a ticket but a lot of unforeseen life circumstances have happened since getting it. I am currently eight days from flying from the East to the West coasts to relocate and as such had to cancel the four hour trip to make this show. It breaks my heart, I really wanted to go more than I’ve wanted to go to any show in a long time. I also would like to apologize to the band, not just for missing your big moment, but for also constantly saying we’ll meet on Twitter after I was too shy to say hello at the Providence show. I know that must be overbearing but I also know you’ll do great out there tonight.

Now, let's talk about this record.

The first single, “SLUT,” is an incredible song to kick off this rollout with. Instrumentally this song just sounds like this band working out their creative muscles together. Little moments in perfect placements lace the entire thing, a mix up of a guitar lick, a different drum fill here and there. The bassline on this track may just be perfect, being so simple and expanding on singular notes in the early verses but as the track goes on it joins in perfect harmony with other pieces of the song in such a fluid way. I think what sells this song above all is that mid section. For something to explode and then chill right back down like that? It’s an emotional release. It completes a track that, as I said, is an exercise in creativity by adding a moment of emotional catharsis.

While “SLUT” is incredible, “Mars” may just be perfect, in fact I’ve found myself wondering how someone could have composed something so well crafted. On the surface it isn’t intricate. Similar to other tracks on the record, this is a pit generator and it may be the best one overall as it’s paced out in a more concise way. The all out rager chorus contrasted with the tight yet low delivered verses as well as the change in lead vocalists are all things that keep you on your toes. I would say, structurally anyway, that “Mars” is the intersection between “SLUT” and “Pixie” with its raw intensity and curveball change ups. What I’m getting at is, the song is not complicated, however the way it uses its changes and breaks keep you enthralled. There is also thoughtful production whether it be the reverb on the “plan for this” line, the laughing behind the “everyone is laughing at me” lyric. Then the penultimate moment on the song, perhaps the entire record, is the cough. The fucking cough. I could write a dissertation on the emotion that one sound makes me feel. I find myself doing it along with the song every time, even if I’m at work. It’s a tool that sounds like everyone in the room is collectively taking a second to just fucking breathe.

I feel awful about what I’m about to say and have considered cutting it from the review, but I think I want to present my opinion as honestly as I possibly can. That and I’m highly praising eleven out of twelve songs on here so I have to pick my battles I suppose. I know there was a very strong feeling and a sense of nervousness around releasing “Pathetic.” The work that was put into the song as well as the deep personal nature of it is something I totally respect. The chords and melody are very compelling and it is lyrically fantastic. All that being said? It sort of just doesn’t make me feel anything. For awhile I thought this was a fault of mine internally, but the thing is I either don’t relate or just don’t feel the spark. I would never skip a track on Slime, but I just don’t think I quite connect on this one.

“Relationship Anxiety” is proof that Pollyanna can do sing-along pop punk alongside pure punk chaos. No screaming here, no hardcore sensibility, it opens with a nice guitar intro and these very nice, easy to sing to lyrics.

“The psychic told me that I should just be alone

And I like being alone but I still hate it too

And I just wanna love you fuck what everybody thinks

But I can’t decide, make up my mind, but maybe I should try.”

The bass is groovy, the structure is bouncy, the chorus is huge and grand. It’s so easy to sing along to as well. Personally, this one really resonates with me. It isn’t that I want to learn to be alone but I relate to this feeling that I’m going to fuck everything up, that I ruin everything good that comes to me. I don’t want to be alone but I wish I could quell that ever present anxiety and make myself stop. Once I latch onto an anxiety I have, it's all I can think about and I really feel like that emotion is being portrayed brilliantly here.

The final single as well as the opening track, “Pixie,” dropped day-in-date with the record and is a perfect opener for a record like this. The feedback and tuning followed by that countdown, followed by an intro that in of itself sounds like a mosh call, followed by a song that is pretty much nothing but hype? It’s the exact kick off Slime deserves. Like a lot of the material on this record this sounds like getting aggression out, it just has a good riff and is driven by it. Not the most complex song writing in the world nor does it need to be. Lyrically I wouldn’t say this is talking about falling out of love but more so not being able to stand by the way the person you do (or did) love is hurting those around them, or even themselves, anymore. As an introduction to a record that is loaded with many stories of social dismay it all works so well.

“You’ll always mean the world to me but I just couldn’t look you in the eyes

And tell you what you did was fine.”

Is another one I can really relate to. It’s one thing to care about someone and stand by them. It is another entirely to enable them to continue to hurt you and dig themselves into a hole time and time again while never once stopping to take responsibility or even apologize for a single action they’ve ever taken. I also really want to praise the transition between this and “SLUT” with the chanting and effects. It's really a strong moment.

We get a real demonstration of talent guitar-wise on “Lush.” Every one of these riffs are incredible, there’s not really a section that feels heavy here they more so carry you from emotion to emotion being presented. The band has referred to this song being much hornier than “SLUT” and, yea that’s true right? “SLUT” isn’t really about sex it’s about the desire to let go, the need to totally let your guard down in a way where you can’t really feel pain. “Lush” is talking about having that desire during sex and the guitar parts reflect that. It’s aggression in a pop punk way, then it chills way down, then it spikes back up. All reflective of a heat of passion. A lot of that instrumentation comes through in articulate ways, the chord progression during;

“So give me everything and then disappear

‘Cause I don’t ever want to see your face again

I’m addicted to when you say my name

And when you’re mean to me it feels so good.”

Is a real come down from the high energy passage before it. I also quite enjoy the production on this one. The way the vocal chops make the solo portion feel bigger by making it drift in layer by layer until it’s all there is a crowning moment. I also enjoy the line shift between “your touch is really crazy” and “I hate myself I need you.” Lines like that show this band wearing their heart on their sleeve in a much bigger way than on anything from their back catalog.

Speaking of, we do a lot more than improve upon our past selves on “Smile.” From this track on it feels like that first quarter of the record was just a warm up and all bets are now off. This sounds like a Sugar Coat jam with the very upbeat instrumental that sounds fun and joyful that explodes into a scream before bringing that riff back with a bit more of an edge. An instrumental that, as I said before, shows our band's growth times about ten. On this one song we are taking every single tool we used on Sugar Coat and juicing them way up and I don’t just mean on the opening riff. The backing vocals are way more compelling. (Fuck.) The switch up in vocalist toward the end to bring back the thesis of the song in a very monotone delivery similar to that used on “Don’t Stay, Don’t Go.” Lyrically I have to praise this one as well. The opening lines to this song are as follows.

“My therapist just told me I’m doing so much better

But what she doesn’t know is that I’m faking it to you

And everyone in my life so they don’t smother me

I’ll fake it every time so they don’t feel bad in their performance.”

For the sake of showing growth, the payoff on “Good for You” from that last record is;

“I won’t be what you want

I won’t be what you need

You won’t do what I say

No, I’m not good for you.”

A line that comes after an entire track of beating around the bush, ranting, raving and sugar coating about everything until that final admission. On this? We get to the point on the opening lines and we still have so much more to go. I know it’s simple but it made me double take. I am so proud of this personal growth and ability to now just be brutally honest straight away. We took an entire track to say something like that less than two years ago.

Speaking of that, I'm Impressed by the song “Pasadena” as well. It’s just sort of a rock ballad on the surface but Jill Beckett has been open on the Pollyanna Tik Tok page on the meaning behind the track. It is a story of rejected love from a quarantine fling where the other person chose a man over her and she holds not a bit of the story back. There’s no drenching in metaphor, there’s no mirrored version of the story, she just says it and doesn’t pull any punches. Again a line like;

“I know you’ll always choose a man

I should move on but

I know you felt something too.”

Is something I have so much respect for putting in your record.

My actual favorite song on the record may very well be “Okay.” This being placed right after “Pathetic” is a perfect parallel. I see the bass intro and main riff of this track as an extension of “Pathetic” and the fact that they are next to each other with the smooth version of that progression leading you to the heavier one? It’s a bridge between the two moods, it literally is the bridge between side A and side B. Again, Pollyanna proves they are masters of performance on this track, the way they bring the main instrumentation back at the end? The “woo?” It’s all incredible. Lyrically this is just a straight up rant on the end of a toxic relationship and it goes over so well.

“Fuck me and say you never cared

Use me and cut me off

Then please go and tell your friends

What you did to me’s not wrong.”

There is this pattern that toxic people will use where they do nothing but justify that what they’re doing is correct, they’ll tell all their friends you hurt them. That the way you’re reacting to your own abuse is out of wanting to punish them and that you have no reason for doing so.

“You don’t know me at all

You had me under your spell

And once I finally woke up?

I finally realized what you fucking did to me.”

If they’re really good at it though, they make you believe that. They make you believe that every time you buy into their negativity, especially if you’re going along with it day after day, that it isn’t them doing it. Everyone else is doing it to hurt them, to hurt you. You don’t consider for a second that they are hurting you for never once taking responsibility for a single action they take. For never once apologizing anytime they hurt you even when they’re telling you they love you everyday. One day though you have to wake up and recognize that none of that is fair to you. None of it is in service to your joy.

“Everyone’s finding out all the things you did to me.”

Eventually though, in the midst of telling everyone that you hurt them and not the other way around, their lies will not start to add up. People will see inconsistencies in your stories. They’ll see which of you sounds like they’re hurt and which of you cares about being right. That they can cut out person after person so that the only ones left are the ones who agree with them, but, in that attempt? They’ll find that no one’s left.

Okay. I vented. We're good.

“Acid Song” is a grungier cut with its chill bass groove intro and a nice little guitar ring to take us into it. The song from there is bass driven and softly sung before erupting into a grander rock chorus. There is also a solo section that’s quite emotional and really has every member firing on all cylinders. What I’m trying to say is there is a varied and compelling structure here that I find well crafted. The line I personally cling to the most here is;

“So leave me nothing

‘Cause you’ll just take anyway

I know you don’t care

You’re all alone

We’re all alone.”

When you spend a huge portion of your life with someone they take pieces of you along the way. That’s natural, it can be beautiful. Sometimes, though, they take with intent and by the end they want everything. They want to take your attention by accusing you of something new everyday. They want to say they deserve your pet more than you, a warm little creature that you’ve used for comfort and friendship while living alone and being left to pick up the pieces of your own shattered reality. They want to take everything from you, both material things and your soul until you’re left isolated and all alone. Okay, maybe I wasn’t done ranting and maybe I’m projecting here. To me though, that is what I pick up on the themes being sung about on this track. To get back to reviewing for a second I have to applaud yet another seamless transition; the one between this track and the next is incredibly smooth.

I enjoy this moment of hope and solace that is “Jado” but I also enjoy that it doesn’t end the record. Here, we get a deeper glimpse into this narrative of connections to see that things are not always a complete disaster. The two minute outro on this one is huge and emotional, like the instrumental form of crying. It’s just a really strong way to both present this story, the feelings it invokes in the author and lead into the closing moments of the record.

*~ *~ *~

I recognize, like a lot of my reviews, there were a lot of points where I stopped reviewing. So, I’ll address that right now before I drone on again. “Who do you want me to be?” is beautiful. The bass tones are beautiful and the guitar is serene. It’s all wonderful and like everything else it speaks to me in ways I’ve needed to hear for a long, long time in a song. Sometimes it truly does not matter what you change. Sometimes what the person you love truly wants out of you is not to stay or love them back, what they want is for you to be a puppet who only responds to whatever emotion they are feeling at the time. For years? You can act like that's fine. You can say “I love this person, I am their rock, they need me and I will be whatever it is they need me to be.” Until you wake up one day and recognize it’s not making you happy, it’s not even really making them happy. It is soul crushing to just agree with every single emotion, rational or irrational, that a person feels until you, yourself, do not feel anything anymore. No matter what they say when you finally get that out, no matter what ways they suggest that everything will be fine and that they’ll work through it. Well, as I’ve said for weeks on these reviews, once you see the cracks? You start to understand that you can put tape over them but they will always deepen.

What you really need is for someone to look you in the eye and tell you that who you are is enough. No questions asked. When someone did that for me? I realized it wasn’t what I was getting in my day-to-day.

It’s why I’m writing this review from an empty apartment right now.

And it's why I'm leaving.

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